Rick Mercer Defects to Puffins

After months of dithering, it appears that so-called comedian Rick Mercer has imbibed the Kool-Aid and gone over to the New Liberals. A new Canadian Obamessiah? We're not holding our breath.

Some of our more enthusiastic BC operatives wanted to rough up Rick, maybe taser him in the gonads, but I nixed that. (What about waterboarding? - Ed.)

Also I want to categorically deny that any of them had any success in inducing Mercer to accept an insurance policy in exchange for not jumping aboard the Backpack Boy Bandwagon.

All I can say is, our loss is their gain. Sniff. I thought we were friends.

Puffins - Can You Top This?

Our Liberal inside operatives are reporting a major shift in Puffin Party morale downwards, as the natural governing party desperately searches for a new leader to take them back to the Promised Land. Backpack Boy is ignored. Count Ignatula and Norma Bob Rae are seen to be yesterday's men.

What to do? Some are suggesting the Puffins take a leaf from their Democratic Party cousins in the south and find a quasi-religious figure to take up the crusade. Somebody to multiply the loaves and fishes, turn water into wine, bring back that old Torstar religion.

I say follow the polls and pick Templar descendant Justin True-Doh.

Yes we can!

More Budget Goodies

If it were only as easy as this:

Top Ten Reasons Why Stéphane Dion Can't be Prime Minister

1. Was caught trying to inject human growth hormone into his campaign.
2. Just can't compete with Paul Szabo in the looks department.
3. He'd rather work on unveiling a new line of Clarity Eyeglasses.
4. That bastard Nik Nanos has it in for him.
5. Even John Turner told him, "it's over."
6. Wanted to forge an alliance with the Canadian Alliance, but found out they were no longer a party.
7. Had to cancel tomorrow's appearance at Question Period so he didn't miss "House".
8. Blew half the Liberal war chest playing internet poker.
9. Recently told a Toronto campaign worker, "Keep that ugly baby away from me."
10. The Party nixed his scheme to bring in a carbon tax and give everybody a free hybrid in exchange. Now when he tells Kyoto to "sit'', the dog lies down.

Pathetic Treatment of Witnesses

A new low today at the so-called Ethics Committee. It must be frustrating to be a sanctimonious socialist in this country. I have never seen such stupidity and lack of respect as I saw today in the NDP's handling of Elmer Mackay. What a bunch of losers.

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Pix: Jake Wright, The Hill Times

Obamagal Talks About Her Obamaguy's Healing Powers

Well, we're bringing out a budget tomorrow to try and wake up our national reporters who are totally fixated on the Obamanable Snowman. If you're still drinking the Kool-Aid, here's an antidote. A dear reader sent in this link to Michelle Obama clips, from Hugh Hewitt's radio show:

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Warning: This is really scary stuff!!

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Drinking the Obama Kool Aid

Yikes, this Obamaguy is unstoppable! What a political phenomenon! What a deep voice emerging from such a weenie frame! Here's he is emerging from the surf, like the Tiger Woods of Politics, striding out of a sand trap.

We're watching things VERY closely, to see if the Puffins have any little Obamas in the woodwork, I mean besides Count Ignatula and Justin TrueDoh. Maybe young Alexandre has a shot, once he finds himself.

I must say I'm inspired. Man, the guy is a tremendous orator, and Sandra wants me to start speaking in slow sonorous cadences, and to talk more about Change and Hope, in the Canadian context of course.

Of course, it's not politics at all, it's a modern day religious cult.

In other news, I see Backpack Boy's wife got him to buy some new pre-election spectacles. Cool.

Everybody Wants to Be Obama!

Including Count Ignatula, who's wearing his heart on his sleeve over the Great Obamaguy. "Let's hope a revival of liberal hope south of the border gives liberals a boost here in Canada."

I know the Count and his sidekick Bobbie Rae are really lusting to take over, but I don't think this would be good for Canadian unity. I'm kind of hoping for someone younger, ideally Justin TrueDoh or even Belinda Stronach.

Book Promotion at the Ethics Committee

I don't know about you, but I found last week at the so-called Ethics Committee a real yawner. They finally persuaded retired journalista Steffie Camero to fly to Ottawa and testify, (Did they offer her immunity? - Ed.) but all she did was promote her new book (right) about working deep cover for the Petit Gars, Marko Lalond, Karlheinz57 and their goons. I can't wait till it hits the newsstands. Maybe we'll see it serialized in the Torostar.

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Pix: Thanks to Pierre Auguste, Canadian Union of Public Satirists (Motto: "Your Tax Dollars at Work")

The Real Slamming Stéphane

Our Conservative Puffin Operations Wing (C-POW) pointed this out the other day. Even the House Veejay of the Canadian Peoples Agitprop Network realizes that Backpack Boy is veering out of control:At least George is a good guy, unlike other night show freaks that the taxpayer-subsidized CPAN has foisted on us. Remember that pathetic puffer Ralph Ben Meringue?

Shakespeare Weighs in on Afghanistan

Henry VI, Part 1, Act 1, Scene 1

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Messenger: Among the soldiers, this is muttered---
That here you maintain several factions,
And whilst a field should be despatched and fought,
You are disputing of your generals:
One would have lingering wars, with little cost:
Another would fly swift, but wantest wings:
A third man thinks, without expense at all,
By guileful fair words peace may be obtained.

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Sounds pretty much like the Loyal Opposition.

(Source: Black Rod)

Mercer Catches Mike Duffy in Flagrante Delecto, Whatever

Rick Mercer was on the Hill again, trying to find a party he can trust with his vote. I'm afraid we all were found wanting. However one of the more interesting things you can discover in this video is Mike Duffy trying to leak questions to Belinda Stronach.As for me, I like a good practical joke, and Rick is above all a good sport.

Harpernomics™ For Socialists #3 - Energy Power Realities

OK, class, maybe you're wondering why I'm putting up this great picture of me with Bonhomme Carnival and Harry the Horse, mascots of the Québec Carnival and the Calgary Stampede. Because it makes me look like a regular guy?

Wrong, I AM a regular guy. Because it's symbolic. What does that mean?

Wrong. It does not mean I'm a clownish mascot. Nice try. What it means is that politics is all about symbol manipulation, class. Now what am I trying to symbolize?

That I'm caught between Mario Dumont and Jean Charest. Very funny, but wrong.

It means that there is a new political and economic power reality in this country, and it is the alliance between two of the world's biggest energy producing jurisdictions, Québec and Alberta.

Any questions, class?

You from Ontario? You don't get it? Think Ontario Hydro.

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Pix: Jacques Boissinot, CP/PC

The Gospel According to Torostar

It's clear my makeover worked!

Puffin propagandist Susan Delacarte and her high school yearbook team at Number One Front Street are now featuring me as "known to be scripted, aloof and unknowable".

So instead of hating me, the Puffin prognosticators are busy setting me up as kind of a ghostly cardboard cult leader that nobody can figure out. Howard Hughes, anybody? Citizen Kane? Dumbledore? Valdemort?

Anyway, nice try, Starbots, and Keep on Puffin!

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Pix:Raffi Anderian, Torstar

Who Wants An Election?

Yawn. This whole town is wiped. The Sens are on a losing skid, and seem leaderless. My Leafs are a running gag, although now that Darcy Tucker (right) is back, maybe they will regain some of their attitude. Then again, probably not.

Must be the mid-winter blahs and all the snow. Maybe it was the Spector/Rock snoozer held at the so-called Ethics Committee gong show. I note with only mild amusement that none of the press corpse dared to feed any interesting questions to the committee members, and when they learned from the old cook at 24 Sussex that Steffie Camaro actually LIED in her book On The Fake (maybe fantasize is a better word - Ed) it was not thought worthy of a news story. No wonder they didn't want Steffie to testify.

The blahs are getting to the pinkest of the journalists - the vampires - who have been infected by Count Ignatula and are all plotting together to feast on my blood, except for one small problem - I'm not bleeding.

Well, dear Diary, it's almost Spring, and in the Spring a young man's fancy turns to maybe calling a Spring election. It appears I have checkmated the Office of the Leader of the Opposition, who must now get real on Afghanistan or face ruin.

Let's see who blinks first.

But then again, would I rather face Backpack Boy for another couple of years, or the Count, or his self-righteous faux-Lefty sidekick Norma Bob Rae? Or even worse, somebody credible like John Manley*, or, perish the thought, Frank McKenna?

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*John, truly, the offer is still open if you want to change sides.

The Martyrdom of Krista Erikson

This just in: Master blogger Black Rod has discovered that the martyrdom of Krista Erickson has led to an outpouring of Facebook sentiment, particularly by sweet young House Liberals. On Jason Cherniak's Support Krista Erickson pages, we find her friends include:
* Nancy Baroni, parliamentary assistant to Liberal MP Maria Minna
* Ryan Cotter, parliamentary assistant to Liberal MP Carolyn Bennett
* Richard Zussman, special assistant to Liberal MP Maurizio Bevilacqua
* Stephen Dame, legislative assistant to Liberal MP Alan Tonks
* Bryn Hendricks, assistant to Liberal MP Hedy Fry
* Al Payne, assistant to Liberal MP Sukh Dhaliwal, who sits on the so-called Ethics Committee.

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Black Rod suggests the other Puffin MP who asked questions for her might be Nova Scotia turncoat Scottie Breeze-on. (Isn't ex CBC radio journo Susan Murray his communications director? - Ed.)

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Update: Black Rod also notes that sweet young Krista, an ex script girl from Winnipeg, is a buddy of Pissed Estate producer Morris Karp-Face.

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PIX: Canadian Peoples Agitprop Network.

Keep on Puffin.

Liberal Playbook "Vindictive, Dishonest and Incompetent"

You know, dealing with this Puffin opposition, and their media friends at Torostar and the Canadian Peoples' Agitprop Network, is a bit like being in a bad high school play. Obviously they've been up all night trying to memorize the script, and they can't even get their lines right. Backpack Boy is the worst, but the Greek chorus is pretty bad too. Then there is script girl Krista just off stage feeding lines to pretty boy Pablito. It's enough to make one gag.

Aaron Wherry of Macleans discovered that they are even mixing up each others parts:

Karen Redman: "Mr. Speaker, Canadians are increasingly seeing this government for what it is: vindictive, dishonest and incompetent."

Raymond Simard: "Mr. Speaker, this vindictive, dishonest, incompetent government will stop at nothing to silence the voices of dissent."

Navdeep Bains: "Mr. Speaker, when this vindictive, dishonest, incompetent government signed the softwood lumber agreement, we told them that it was flawed."

Tina Keeper: "This vindictive, dishonest and incompetent government is still skeptical about the science."

Mark Eyking: "Why is this vindictive, dishonest, incompetent government determined to destroy our tourism industry instead of expanding it?"

Pablo 'n' Kristagate

I predict that the Puffin members of the so-called Ethics Committee, desperately thumbing BlackBerry messages to and fro with their allies at our "National Broadcaster", will continue to bore Canadians by trying to link Yours Truly with the ever-entrepreneurial Person Who Must Not be Named, while totally ignoring their own home-baked scandal - yes I'm talking about Pablo 'n' Kristagate.

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PS: Doug tells me that Pablito was the Quebec Chair of Count Ignatula's candidacy during his campaign for the leadership of the Liberal Party of Canada. Curiouser and curioser.

The buzz around the office, of course, has been, "are these two cute moppets an item?" Wink wink, nudge nudge. Sandra is attempting to lock down such salacious talk, urging staff to "take the high road".

The tastiest piece of evidence seems to be John Cruikshank's admission that journalista Krista was spoon-feeding TWO Puffin members of the so-called Ethics Committee. You'll be relieved to know that our crack investigative team is on the case.

Makeover Complete

OK, I'm back from the Blogwarts School of Wizardry and Magic, ready for the new sessions. The CBC and Toronto Star won't believe what wonders we have in store this term at the old castle.

An election? I'm afraid not, at least not until the Muggles Puffins have raised enough money to compete on a level playing field.

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Pix: Here I am with Minerva McGonagall, Professor of Transfiguration. Note Bush talking to Valdemort, back row left.

Dion Tours War Torn Base With Count

My esteemed parliamentary colleague Stéphane Dion has just toured our base at Khandahar with Count Ignatula.

I am told that Iggy's ancestor, Count Nicholas Pavlovich Ignatieff (right), who was expelled from England for nefarious intelligence activities, started the whole Afghan mess 150 years ago when he helped foment the Crimean War, then got the Russians into the act in Afghanistan in order to destabilize the British Empire. What a bloody rotter!

My how times have changed. I see the count did not allow himself to be photographed wearing a helmet, and M. Dion quickly removed his at the first sign of the cameras, so as not to be tagged with the militarist label. (What, no Dukakis moment? - Ed)

I am told on usually good authority that Ignatula may have advised Dion to threaten NATO intervention in Pakistan, which got him terrible press.

Is this the kind of man we want as our Minister of External Affairs or even Defence, or, perish the thought, Prime Minister? The man whose ancestor started the whole Afghanistan mess in the first place? I say it would be far better for Canadian unity if Justin TrueDoh got the job of replacing Dion.

(Source: Conservative Party Research Office; Flashman in the Great Game, by G. M. Fraser)

I'm Into Deep Makeover For the Last Demographic

Hope you had a great holiday. I'll be limiting my posts over the next few weeks. In an effort to make myself more appealing to what I call The Last Demographic - Toronto women who hang on every word uttered on the People's Network, and prostrate themselves before the ideologues at the Toronto Star - I'm putting myself through a complete whole body workout and personal makeover. We might also be doing some policy tweaking.

I know I'm a bit of a geek, maybe even more so than BackPack Boy. I mean look at this picture of me as a teenager in Leaside - Yes I am a Torontonian! - and you'll see how much I've changed. I mean look at those teeth!

I must say I owe a lot to Laureen, who has a great sense of style, and she got me into more fashionable "power" neckware. I mean some of my ties I got at Eaton's Bargain Basement in 1979!! She even made me throw out my favourite - a wide rep tie with baby blue and black stripes. It probably went to Sally Ann. I know some CP journo will be wearing it at my next press conference!

A Happy and a Prosperous New Year Everybody!

Priory of Sion Plotting to Put Justin St-Clair TrueDoh on the Throne of Canada

This Just In: On December 22, in a secret conclave at the University Club in Toronto, a group of Priory of Sion and Torostar Cult officials met to fete Justin TrueDoh and set in motion their plot to install him on the Throne of Canada, replacing the Windsors.

I'm not lying when I tell you we are seriously concerned by this new development, and several of our crack Tory historians have been assembling a dossier on the case. New facts on the Priory's role in Canadian history are just now beginning to emerge.


1. The Sinclair Factor

On October 13, 1307, a bankrupt King Philippe le Bel of France (right), backed by Pope Clement in Avignon, went after the Order of the Knights Templar and their treasure to prop up his ailing monarchy and destroy the St-Clair family, pretenders to the Throne of France, who claimed to be descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene and holders of the Holy Grail. On March 19th, 1314, the last Grand Master of the Knights Templar, Jacques de Molay, was roasted at the stake and his ashes thrown into the Seine.

But Philip failed to find the treasure of the Templars, for most of it had been well hidden in the Alps. As for the family and the Grail, they had been spirited away to Scotland, where Robert the Bruce, son of the Templar Crusader Robert de Brus, had secured Scottish independence from England at the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314. Rosslyn Castle near Edinburgh became home of the "Sinclair" Family.

In 1393, fearing the French had discovered the secret, Henry Sinclair, Prince of the Orkney Islands, sent a Venetian admiral, Nicolo Zeno, to carry out a survey of Greenland, in preparation for their journey to the New World.

Before embarking on what was considered a risky endeavor, Sinclair made provisions for transferring some of his lands to his brothers and eldest daughter. He then packed the Templar treasure in 12 vessels and took to sea, with Zeno navigating, and 200-300 fellow monks and fugitive Templars. They landed in Cape Breton on June 2, 1398, and Guysborough, Nova Scotia on June 12, 1398. Over that summer a special crew buried the treasure and the Holy Grail on Oak Island (above), in a booby trapped money pit.

Henry Sinclair returned home, and was cruelly killed by English invaders in 1401. But the Grail and the treasure were safe in Canada.

2. The Mont-Réal Connection

In 1534, over 100 years later, with growing Medici threats against the Templars, and a looming religious war, the order engaged St-Malo navigator Jacques Cartier, who had already crossed the Atlantic with the Portuguese Templars, and sent him west to scout for a save haven for the Order and its treasures. Cartier named the river he discovered after Saint Lawrence, the Roman martyr who was entrusted with the Holy Grail or Holy Chalice, the cup from which Jesus and the Apostles drank at the Last Supper. Cartier found the perfect location up the St. Lawrence River at a place he called "Mont-Réal", after the crusader fort in Syria (below) where the Grail was originally found by the Crusaders.

In the early 1600s, when the religious wars ended, Samuel de Champlain, a grand master of Templar cartography, sailed to Canada with his Huguenot associates, some of whom were members of the French St. Clair Family, guardians of the secret of the Holy Blood. They founded a new settlement for the family at "Acadia." But the site soon came under attack from American pirates, and in the 1630s, they dug up the Oak Island treasure and the Grail and secretly moved it to Quebec with the family.

With Canada secure, Jean de Maisonneuve, Jeanne Mance (a direct descendant of the last leader of the Knights Templar) founded the Company of Ville-Marie, then took the family, the Grail and the treasure to "Mont-Réal" where they founded a new holy city. The family were placed under the guardianship of the Order of St-Sulpice, seigneurs of Montréal, until the time was ripe to install a descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, a St-Clair son, on the throne of Canada. A Jesuit takeover may have scotched that plan for several hundred years.

So Montreal in fact originated as a Templar Colony, to be the New Jerusalem, and Quebec’s motto, “Je me souviens” (I remember), bears testimony to this secret history. It's clear to some of our historians that the Holy Grail is indeed hidden somewhere in Montréal. (Our researchers' best guess - in the Chapelle Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours, where rest the remains of Ste. Marguerite Bourgeoys, founder of the chapel in 1657)

3. The Rose in His Lapel

The family and their descendants thrived, and genealogical research has shown that over 350,000 Holy Blood descendants today make their home in Montreal. Young Justin TrueDoh is just one of them, both on the French and English side, and of course the mother that gave birth to him on Christmas Day 1971 - Margaret Sinclair (left) - is a direct descendant of the Scottish Templar family and the French St-Clairs.

One of our historians suggests she may have divorced Pierre TrueDoh - not the other way around - when he confessed he was a life-long Jesuit/Marxist, and hostile to the Templar cause.

Be that as it may, the symbolism should be a star-crossed slam dunk, right? And the case should rest there, right? Not so fast - Stéphane Dion, Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe are also Templar heirs, with a right to the Throne. I myself, through my Calvinist French and Scottish ancestors, am another, but so are a lot of people. I don't make a big deal about it like some people do. And really this whole Justin effort smacks of pure desperation.

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Anyway, Dear Diary, that's your Christmas story for 2007. Merry Christmas to all and God Bless Canada.

PET Pup Caught Trying to Swim to Havana

In a brave attempt to emulate his late father's catalogue of exploits, Justin "Jésu" Truedoh was pulled from the sea off Halifax yesterday in a failed attempt to swim to Havana.

When told his father had tried to get to Cuba once to meet with "Fidel", but by canoe from Key West, Florida, the young Puffin heart throb slapped his head and shouted "Aw Fuddle Marde".

The young celebrity was escorted home by his wife Sophie and will be in Montréal to celebrate his birthday on Christmas Day.

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Meanwhile disturbing rumours continue to swirl about a Priory of Sion plot to install Truedoh on the throne of Canada. More on this as details come in.

Stephen Harper Automated Attack Ad Thesaurus

One of the more amusing items that Rocco's tech team found when they hacked into PAM - the Puffinalia Agitprop Mainframe - is the Stephen Harper Automated Attack Ad Thesaurus, a subset of the Puffin Party of Canada Secret Playbook. Here are some examples from this truly pathetic political document:

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1) Concentrate on Harper: Talk about "Stephen Harper's hidden agenda" and the "Harper Regime".

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2) Use Demonizing Adjectives: "aggressive, aloof, arrogant, bullying, cheap, cold, devious, dirty, disastrous, disturbing, evil, hardcore, hard-right, heartless, hostile, mean, nasty, right-wing, scary, secretive, shameful, sinister, sleazy, tightly-controlled, uncaring, unfair, unfeeling, vindictive".

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3) Repeat Nationalistic Links: "George Bush, war in Iraq, US-style"

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4) Use Hundred Dollar Words Sparingly: Multisyllabics such as "authoritarian, fundamentalist, Machiavellian, unconscionable" are great in their proper place.

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Sandra is keeping a close eye on some of the newer attack innovations, so I enjoin all true blues to send your favourite Puffinalia to me at the email address on the right.

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Latest Larry Martin Outrage: "Putinesque", as in "Oh that Harper, he's so Putinesque."

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Don Martini: "He's a born leader, but far too angrily partisan..."

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Latest Jimmy Traverse Torostar Cult Inanities: "vicious", "partisan", "schoolyard meanness", "goes for the groin", "smearing the blameless", "doesn't play well with others"...

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NOTE: I thought "PARTISAN" was a good thing, but apparently not when you're sniffing the incense of the Torostar Cult on a daily basis. Soon they'll be banning hockey.

Forget the old rule about keeping your stick on the ice. These journo-nannies are so stoned they can play without a stick.

Let's Really Open the Gates to Full Public Scutiny and Transparency

If you're like me I'm sure you're a true blue fan of Great Canadian Spectator Sports like sliding down the rink shouting "harder" and banging heavy rocks together. And of course there's mudwrestling in suits. And of course you share the fantasy of seeing Mr. Dithers and the Créton de Shawinigan have their moment of glory boxing before the so-called ethics committee. How marvellous it would be to see them duke it out in the Railway Committee Room, continuing their bathetic old charade and growling at Pat Martin's bossy questions.

"I ask you sir, what did you really know about Airbust™?"

And what about Shawinigate and Sponsorgate and Steamshipgate, real classic high end scandals compared to the efforts of The Person Who Must Not be Named to make a decent consulting buck after his departure from politics under the stain of the horrible GST and the tragedy of the Free Trade Deal?

I'm tempted to say, "Let's open up this whole can of worms and follow the money trail right into the political parties themselves. Let's look into the heart of darkness that is the natural governing party redux."

We could even invite the old German-Canadian Gnome back for comic relief.

Now that's scary.

OK, Bring on the Election, Not

I see that diligent work by crazed turncoat Andrew Coin (left), allied with the Canadian Peoples' Agitprop Network and the Torostar Cult, has led to a blip in the CP/Decimo/Harrass poll where we could be statistically tied with the Puffins. (Is this a real poll like the Nanos ones, or just a desperate push poll to nudge up the Puffins? And what were the questions? - Ed)

High Fives to all those weenies who contributed to the Puffin nudge upward and our nudge downward. This is not mere police beat journalism - this is inspired brand marketing and you should share in the glory. And Viva Karlsheitz Fraudster for your bravura performance. You really earned your get out of jail card, you old rascal. We'll see you in February.

By the way, is Backpack Boy back from Bali yet? That should cause the polls to re-blip back to normal.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzz...must hibernate.

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Back to Normal: Sandra woke me from my midwinter nap, and apparently the latest Angus Reid poll says nothing has changed.... We've held at 33%, the Puffins are stuck at 28%. As you were...

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This just in: Some college boy cultist at Torostar called Gerry Nicholls, who claims to know me, says I'm being groomed by my staff as a cult leader/playboy of the month.

I guess this spring's fashion at Torostar and CPAN will be to portray me as Herr Harper. Truly, deeply sophomoric.

See you at the polls, losers. Oops, sorry, I forgot, the Puffins can't afford an election, can they? So I guess I won't see you at the polls.

Anyway, why all the fuss, Puffin People? Why so frustrated? All you have to do is drink our kool-aid and vote YES.

So lighten up and have a happy holiday. God Bless Canada.

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Pix: AC (Frontier Centre for Public Policy)

Del Mastro takes Puffins to Task

The Puffin Party of Canada has denied that there was any collusion between the Puffins and the CBC, and have called the allegations a “total fabrication” (National Post, December 15, 2007). If indeed true, I'm relieved that certain honourable members of the Official Opposition will be spared further embarassment.

However, if the Puffins ARE LYING and it was NOT a fabrication, and the CBC have indeed been acting as the lapdog network of the Grits, then I am totally disgusted. Have these people no shame? Is this what they teach in journalism school these days?

And the irony of it all is that this is occurring in the Ethics Committee! It would be hilarious if it were not so tragic.

Our party member Dean Del Mastro will be bringing this up in the committee after Christmas. “Are the Liberals saying that Jean Lapierre, Mike Duffy and the CBC itself are fabricating their stories?” he asks. “More importantly do Liberals believe that it is appropriate for their party to actively collude with the country’s public broadcaster?”

Perhaps the committee could call some senior CBC officials to testify.

New Mackenzie King Enquiry

Rumours have been circulating that I'm going to be asking Professor Johnston to widen his enquiry to cover the shady financial doings of ALL Puffin Prime Ministers, including Mackenzie King, who allegedly took money from the Rockefellers and died a very rich man.

I want to state categorically that nothing could be further from the truth.

CBC Feeds Questions to Puffin MPs on the So-Called Ethics Committee

This development does not look good for the credibility of the Puffin members of the Ethics Committee. It's clear one or more of them have been colluding with their lapdog network. Yes, I'm talking about the Canadian Peoples' Agitprop Network.

CTV's Mike Duffy show has confirmed the allegations of former Liberal Cabinet Minister and current TVA journalist Jean Lapierre that Grit MPs on the Ethics Committee were given yesterday's questions to ask by the journalists of the CBC.

"I knew all about those questions," said Lapierre. "They were written by the CBC and provided to the Liberal Members of Parliament and the questions that Pablo Rodriguez asked were written by the CBC, and I can't believe that, but last night, an influential Member of Parliament came to me and told me those are the questions that the CBC wants us to ask tomorrow." (CTV Newsnet, December 13, 2007)

Your Tax Dollars at Work

So let me get this straight... some of the $55 or so that each Canadian taxpayer spends to keep the CBC on air goes directly toward benefiting the Puffin Party of Canada by educating their stupider MPs about what questions to ask so as to damage the government of YOURS TRULY?



I must say I am shocked but not surprised at this new evidence that CBC keeps ethically challenged journalists on the payroll. This is just more of the same pathetic service to Canadians.

Of course, this is nothing new for the Nanny Network. We now know all about Steffie Camero and the Airbust™ Crusaders. But there is more. In 2004, Stephanie Matteis of CBC's The National sent out thousands of emails searching for typical Canadians that would not vote for YOURS TRULY because they thought I was, here we go again, "scary". In her letter, she wrote, "I'm looking for someone who was going to vote Conservative in the last election but changed their minds along the way because they were scared, freaked out or worried about the Conservatives, the Conservative agenda or its leader. So, instead, they voted Liberal. Now you're facing the same dilemma this time. If this describes you AND you are willing to travel for a couple of days next month AND you are willing to appear on television then please get in touch immediately."

Presumably the network would bring all these people to Toronto, put them up in the Harbour Castle and have a good old town hall meeting.

Then in August, 2006, CBC reporter Christina Lawand deliberately misrepresented an answer given by YOURS TRULY.

Canadians want to know, "When will this shame and outrage ever end?"

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Update: My staff have drafted a query to CBC ombudsman Vince Carlin (wasn't he a standup star in the 70s?), and we anticipate the usual grovelling letter in reply, but no real changes in policy unless they fire most of the newsroom. I suspect we'll also be bringing the matter up with the Canadian Broadcasting Standards Council.

What? the CBC is not a member of the Canadian Broadcasting Standards Council? Jeez whyeverthehellnot?

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New Developments: It is reported that Carlin is an expert in ethics, and his wife teaches journalistic ethics at Ryerson, so let's see him strut his stuff. My guess is there will be one child journo sent to the Gulag, and the Corpse will then pronounce that all is well.

Keep on Puffin.

Old Goalie Caught Obsessing About Hotel Rooms

This is fascinating. Our crack PMO textual analysis team have discovered that the Puffins are now mythologizing the Airbust™ Affair by developing a vocabulary that links it with unsavoury high end hotel rooms, where, as right-thinking Canadians know, all sorts of alleged practices take place. Yesterday former Leaf Manager Ken Dryden, for whom I have the utmost respect for his hockey achievements, said, and I quote:

"Mr. Schreiber is at least a shadowy character, and has been for a long time. I understand how first contacts happen and how mistakes can be made, but why did your association with Mr. Schreiber go on year after year? Why was the money exchanged in cash? Why in different cities? Why in hotel rooms?"

Dryden raises a troubling point. Why indeed? Canadians demand an answer.

Robert Thériault is also obsessed with the same thing: "Then you exercised the options to accept money, in cash, in a hotel room in Montreal."

And why Montreal. Why the Queen Elizabeth? Why not the Paris Airport Hilton? Or the Pierre Hotel at Trudeau Airport?

And even the Kneedippers are not immune: Mr. Joe Comartin: "So at the time when you received that money, when you were in the hotel room..."

So my friends, repeat this mantra after me - "Hotel rooms. Hotel rooms in different cities."

I'm also told the Globe and Torostar journos are really picking up on this hotel room thing, and the hard-hitting Pissed Estate investigators plan to tour and stay in all these cool hotels where the German-Canadian Pasta Entrepreneur met his prey. Especially the Pierre in New York. A tad expensive, but a lovely place.

In cash. In a hotel room. We're not making this up.

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Pix:Poor Old Goalie Being Glad Handed by a Refreshed Mr. Dithers in a Montreal Hotel Room