The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: Dion in Tears

Friday, September 28, 2007

Dion in Tears

Stéphane Dion just called me on BlackBerry #4 and he sounded close to tears. "Thanks for all your support dearest Fake Steve," he said. "You're one of the fewer Commons people who know what a rough time I'm had. You always respectful and décent guy, unlike some of my party people."

And then he burst out, "I used to think you Conservateurs had a hidden US-style agenda. Now it turns out Michael Ignatyef, a US-style intellectual, thinks he can just snap the fingers and I will hand him Liberal leadership reins. Jamais!" Then he stifled a sob and the phone went dead.

Now WTH am I to make of all this? Who would have thought Iggy the House Elf would behave so badly? They never should have given him that sock.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)