The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: Kim Dilute Pull Forced to Eat Cat

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Kim Dilute Pull Forced to Eat Cat

In what journalists are calling Catgate or even worse, Pussygate, (Catscam? - Ed.) a senior Ignatieff advisor has been forced to recant before cadres of Red Guards for his sins in failing to keep his mouth shut.

This has become a big issue in the PRC, with people taking Warren Kinsella (Kim Dilute Pull) seriously, to the detriment of Sino-Canadian relations so carefully nurtured since the days when St. Pierre pirouetted in front of that old beast Mao. Now it is back to square one, I fear.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)