Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hallowe'en in Obamaland

More Hillaryousness from south of the border.
First, a blood sucking monster scares a young woman:

Second, a nasty, unfeeling attack cartoon on the Democratic Party saviour's wonderful "Spread the Wealth" message.

Next, a restructuring of our Wizard of Oz metaphor (no, Sarah, this isn't Kansas any more):

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Hey, I'm Running for President

My friends, fresh from my electoral triumph in Canada, and with the Puffin Party in disarray, I've agreed to help out our cousins in the Republican Party by taking over from John McCain in this, the final week of the campaign.

Obama is such a fake, and if anybody can beat Fake Obama, I can.

I realize that having a virtual unknown such as myself come out of nowhere may be a bit of a shock to many Americans, but my main platform - to impose the Canadian banking system on the US - will I think help us save the day.

I'm Fake Stephen Harper and I approved this message.
PS. Click HERE to see the start of my campaign.

Harpernomics for Socialists #8 - Will the Reality Party of Canada Run a Deficit?

A lot of pundits are whining that I misled them during the election when I said that regardless of the ongoing global economic crisis, I would not allow Canada's finances to slip into deficit. Waaaaaaahhhh!

Look I never really said that in so many words, and Flaherty has been at pains to tone down the rhetoric and suggest that we will use all tools at our disposal.

Look dear friends, last night I got out Mackenzie King's real crystal ball, and called up the old fellow. We got into a heated argument, which I ended up winning. He said, "Even Bennett agrees with me. You've got to balance the budget above all".

I said, "Look Mackenzie, it's clear the US and certain global basket cases are slipping into deflation, and if Carney finds we're trending into the same ditch, there's always the good old printing press. I mean, we're all post-Keynsians now."

King gave me a look of sheer disbelief, shook his head and grunted, then quickly faded out.

Dithers' $12 Billion Surplus

According to a briefing paper, my predecessor is going around flogging a manuscript on why he was so beloved as finance minister, and why we ruined HIS $12 billion surplus.

Well my friends, it wasn't his anyway. It belonged to the Canadian people, and we gave it back.

In the classic words of Dear Leader Obama, it's "redistributive change*." Except we in the Reality Party of Canada reversed the process, in two neat GST slices. Geddit people?

I see too that M. Paulie, "one of the most successful finance ministers Canada has ever had,"™ is now chairing a project to preserve the Congo River basin. A real Humprey Bogart is our ex! Here he is on one of his latest expeditions, where he teamed up with Katherine Hepburn in dragging an old CSL barge up the Heart of Darkness, looking for treasure.

The legend just keeps on growing.
*higher taxes = more pork for our friends. As US Chief Justice John Marshall once said: “The power to tax is the power to destroy.”

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

New Obamanation National Anthem

Hey, it just struck me. This is the same anthem they played when Tretiak and his goons came to Canada for the first time, and, if I can be unparliamentary for a moment, we went to Moscow and whomped their respective asses.

And we can do it again. Yes we can.

Obama Spin Doctor Meets Megyn Kelly

Such a polite Obamatron...

In one of his Little Red Broadcasts, the Dear Leader spoke of the "tendency to lose track of the political and community organizing and activities on the ground that are able to put together the actual coalitions of power through which you bring about redistributive change."

The One posits that Americans should "break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the founding fathers in the Constitution."

"I am not optimistic about bringing about redistributive change through the courts. The institution just isn't structured that way."

In other words, don't bother about the courts and the law. The way to give everybody bread and circuses and fake mortgages is through politics.

Monday, October 27, 2008

More on Bill Ayers and Friends

Here's old fidelisto Bill Ayers in his Cuba T-shirt rapping about education.

Here are some of Bill Ayers' other friends.

Obamatrons Get Ready to Vote

Obamorganizers waken the living dead in Austin, Texas, and get them to shuffle off to the polling station to the tune of Michael Jackson's Thriller.... Scary stuff if it's true.

Red Star Over Chicago - Anti Obama Political Art

In this video, researchers for the Fox News Bill O'Reilly show nail Obama guru and Cesar Chavez buddy Bill Ayers. Ayers, a former Weather Underground domestic terrorist, sporting his red star t-shirt, makes a property rights statement and calls the same police he once (allegedly) bombed.

A number of US photoshoppers have come up with some Nobama art. I prefer the Obama as the New Messiah ones, but maybe these portray more of the truth. Here's a sample:

Thursday, October 23, 2008

October Surprise? - The Ultimate Obama Smear?

As someone who has spent the past few years being demonized by Torostar, the Canadian Peoples Agitprop Network, the National Dope Party (N.D.P.), that old Maoist Duceppe, and now George Boros, owner of the US Democratic Party, I must say I share the pain that Barack Hussein Obama is currently going through.

Today and tomorrow, reports say Barry will be off the campaign and in Hawaii, helping take care of his sick grandmother. My condolences.

However, other cynics say that he is there to tend to something more ominous, a court challenge by crusading Chicago lawyer Andy Martin that is asking for a certified vault copy of Obama's birth certificate.

In a parallel court case, in Philadelphia, the plaintiff, attorney Philip J. Berg, declares that the birth certificate put up on Obama's Fight the Smears website must now be regarded as a forgery and that, according to Obama's paternal grandfather, Obama was born in Mombasa, Kenya.

Here's an interview with Berg (you can skip the first 60 seconds):

Berg states that "he filed Requests for Admissions on September 15, 2008 with a response by way of answer or objection had to be served within thirty [30] days. No response to the Requests for Admissions was served by way of response or objection. Thus, all of the Admissions directed to Obama and the DNC are deemed “ADMITTED.” Therefore, Obama must immediately withdraw his candidacy for President.

More HERE.

Here's the docket. Here's a good tracking blog from a law student with pals at the courthouse.

UPDATE: The Philadelphia judge ruled Berg had no standing. He is appealing to the US Supreme Court. The Hawaii judge delayed a decision until November 7.

NEW UPDATE: Some commentators are now suggesting that if John McCain loses the election, HE has standing, and the Supreme Court will hear him right away.

Whew, what a zoo! This stuff makes the last Canadian election look like a Sunday school picnic.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

More From America's Loony Left

What if he is the Messiah?

Bereft of real religion, these poor people expect the American media industrial complex to provide it for them.

Truly, deeply pathetic.

God Bless Canada.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Hey Sarko, Bienvenue Chez Les Osties!

Faites comme chez vous, and let's make a deal.
Source: Serge Chapleau

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Bobama Rae Love Affair Over as Grits Gear Up For Quick and Dirty Leadership Convention

As we clean up the old chambres de guerre and put away the signs for another term at Blogwarts, word on the street (and in the National Post) says that the love affair between Bobama and Count Ignatula is over "and the two can't stand to be in the same room together."

My response to this is simply, Puffin Poo.

This pathetic attempt at a leak is clear evidence that the leadership campaign is already under way, and the first thing that Senator Smith and Bob Rae's brother John decided to do is manufacture a split between these two old college chums to give the appearance of a real fight. My friends, don't believe it for a moment.

The second thing is that my old friend Frank McKenna is also being brought into the race from TD Bank to provide some long needed credibility to the New Toronto Party of Canada.

The Justin Child will at last emerge and tease the journos and the women of Toronto that he is being temped to run. Acres of dead trees and zigabytes of bandwidth will be burned to maintain this sweet fantasy. He and his lovely wife Sophie will appear endlessly on the front pages of Chatelaine, Torostar etc. My friends, don't believe it for a moment.

The convention may occur as early as December. Details are being hammered out.

Yes, things are that bad.

God Save McQueen

This may be a complete fabrication, but a little bird told me that there was a tough, soul-searching meeting at Stornaway yesterday, where the big Liberal brass told Backpack Boy to pack his bags.

The problem, you see, is money. With him as leader, the Puffin Party is dead in the water in terms of fundraising.

Now as you know, I don't believe any of this. And I have great respect for the Leader of Her Majesty's Official Opposition (see Her Majesty, top right), and I would love him to stay, but times are tough around the world (see Her Majesty, top right), and with the loss in votes in the last election, the Puffins are taking a $1.6 million hit from Elections Canada.

Thanks Jean Chrétien/Merci au petit gars de Shawinigan.

More as this develops.
Pix: Some Fleet Street Rag, "Queen Forced to Pawn Tiara as Chaos Rages in the City"

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

We Blew It, People, But We'll Fight Another Day

First the good news - We've gone from 99 to 124 to 143 seats.

Now the bad news - We did not go to 156 seats.

My personal post mortem:

1) Culture - We boosted the Heritage budget from $350 to $400 million, and got shot down because we made one small program cut into a wedge issue. Doh.

2) Youth Justice - Another minor optional wedge issue. We shouldn't have bothered. People already knew we were tough on crime.

3) Insulting Bloc voters was a mistake, and we paid for it. I mean, was a vote for the Alliance a useless vote?

Maybe this election wasn't the time for wedge issues. I'm getting out Mackenzie King's crystal ball in the next day or two, to see if the old guy has any suggestions. Stay tuned.
Pix: Peter Thompson, National Post

Monday, October 13, 2008

Sunday, October 12, 2008

A Final Plea to Quebec "Artistes"

As you know, I am a cold hearted economist. I don't have time to gush over "phoques en Alaska," like some of your aging pop gods. I refuse to tell lame journalists who my favourite Beatle is, and I'm not going to appear on Tout le Monde en Parle so Dumbo Danny can sneer at my politics.

Yes my government loves Canadian culture, and we actually boosted spending in the Heritage Ministry from $350 to $400 million. But your whining about a $15 million travel cut in Foreign Affairs, which never should have had the program, got all the press.

Not very smart, people.

I just want to say, you bozos, that I'll be back, and next time you'd better not try the same BS as you did with your stupid ad, which Nathalie Petrowski of La Presse said was pathetic. A lot of people agree with her.

God bless a strong Québec within a United Canada.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Friday, October 10, 2008

Fraud We Can Believe In?

It seems Obama's ACORN group are a little too enthusiastic about signing up dead Democrats.

Let's hope their Canadian branch does not try to pull off the same stuff.

Cranky Pants? We'll Get the Stocks Back Up

The Land of Oz is Strong

You know, friends, Hallowe'een is coming, and the kids were asking about costumes. Well, we just watched the Wizard of Oz, and I said, sometimes on the campaign, I feel like Dorothy on the way to the Emerald City, having to drag along the the Scarecrow (Stéphane Dion), the Cowardly Lion (Jack Layton) and the Tin Woodsman (Gilles Duceppe), not forgetting Toto (Elizabeth May, in the basket, out of the picture).

Here are some movie stills to show you what I mean. Pretty scary similarities, eh?

You Want Empathy?

Vote for Oprah.

Or maybe Elizabeth May.

Rumours are spreading that Ms. May might get so empathetic that she will bow out of the race, and tell all her supporters to vote for the Puffin Party of Canada.

Canadians will want to know: Was that the plan all along?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Bank on Canada, People

Reuters Today:

"Canada has the world's soundest banking system, closely followed by Sweden, Luxembourg and Australia, a survey by the World Economic Forum has found as financial crisis and bank failures shake world markets.

But Britain, which once ranked in the top five, has slipped to 44th place behind El Salvador and Peru, after a 50 billion pound ($86.5 billion) pledge this week by the government to bolster bank balance sheets.

The United States, where some of Wall Street's biggest financial names have collapsed in recent weeks, rated only 40, just behind Germany at 39, and smaller states such as Barbados, Estonia and even Namibia, in southern Africa."

So I would like simply to say to my esteemed opponents, take a valium guys.

Vote for the Sensible Party, Not Those Other Guys

Elite Dems Who Want to Move to Canada

Check this out. Oh, and bring your money.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Jeez, People Are Telling Me I'm Not Emotional Enough

Well I'm mad as hell heck and I'm not going to take it any more.

Friends this is not the time to bawl your eyes out like Jack Layton appeared to do the other day, or get all choked up like Backback Boy when talking about poverty, or seethe with frustration like that old Maoist Gilles Duceppe. This is the time to put your shoulder to the wheel and roll up your sleeves and get to work to help Canadian working families keep their jobs, their RRSPs and their houses and have enough food on the table. It also means keeping our businesses prosperous, and retain enough money for social programs in our national treasury without raising taxes. That's why I'm in politics.

Let's not freak out here. The Royal Bank says Canada is strong. But we're on a roller coaster ride. Please do not remove your seatbelts.

During a private seance the other day, Mackenzie King reminded me of the words of Winston Churchill during the Battle of Britain, "These are not dark days, these are great days, the greatest in the history of our nation."

Harpernomics For Socialists #6 - Pre-Election Prognosis

Look people, it's real tough being a real economist leading a real campaign, but we're the Reality Party of Canada, right? And we have to get through this mess with our savings and standard of living intact. And we can do it.

I've got to say I really feel your pain having to listen to the pathetic clap trap spouted by opposition politicians.

Let's look at each of them in turn:

1) George Boros - the proprietor of the Democratic Party of the USA and the biggest idiot in the world has entered the Canadian election at the last minute with his surrogate, whatever, party, which is not approved by Elections Canada, although there may be a loophole somethere. Our legal eagles are working on it, and papers will fly, I can guarantee it.

Anyhoo, George is buying full page ads in Canadian newspapers (see above), sucking up to the opposition parties and painting me as the worst leader in the world. George, if I could be unparliamentary for a moment, you can go short yourself.

2) Stéphane "the Plagiarizer" Dion - lacking any real policy, he is falling back on cruel schoolyard taunts perfected by Torostar journo-nannies and the Canadian Peoples Agitprop Network. The real Yours Truly is "selfish," "a bully," "George Bush," blah, blah, blah. He's still panicking. Last night, in North Bay, without a teleprompter, he said that “Never will an election have posed to Canadians so starking choice.”

You know, he's right.

3) Jack Layton - is freaking out as he drops in the polls as people start to vote strategically. When I mused that there are buying opportunities in the current stock market, which is a simple statement of fact, he demonized me as stealing money from pensioners. Get a life, Jack, and by the way, let's do lunch after October 15.

4) Gilles Duceppe - is now saying that while I am immoral and nasty, fragile and shaky, he looks forward to working with us in the next Parliament. Having survived a narrow near death experience by moving to the left and sucking up to téléroman "artistes" and aging pop stars, he will now spend the next couple of years popping paxil and fading into insignificance. But yes, Gilles, drop by my office when we get back to Ottawa and we'll have a talk about the forest industry.

5) Elizabeth May - rightly chewed out Mike Duffy when he suggested she wanted to dump NAFTA. Liz just wants to renegotiate the energy provision. Which will never happen, because the Americans will cancel the whole deal. They want energy security and need an oil price based on the value of the US dollar. That's the real deal. That's how we got them to the table in the first place.

Well, yes, OK, Duff, I guess she does want to dump NAFTA.

6) Danny Boy Williams - the Hugo Chavez of Atlantic Canada™ is also getting into the act, using the hard earned dollars of his ABC supporters to buy flashy billboards in downtown Toronto. As John Crosby used to say, "Lard help us".

Well that's about it. See you at the polls, and God Bless Canada.
Pix: Today's Montreal Gazette; Fred Lum, Globe and Mail

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Obama's Little Potatoes

Source: Celestial Junk Blog

Obama Youth Corps in Training

A group of Obamatrons at the Kansas City charter school Urban Community Leadership Academy pledge allegiance to the Dear Leader. The school suspended the teacher in charge of the after school Hugo Chavez style training activity after he posted the video in YouTube.

Saturday Night Live Censored

This Just In: It seems that the jolly satirists at Saturday Night Live south of the border just got seriously clotheslined by George Boros, owner of the Democratic Party of the USA. In an amusing skit last week, the crew lampooned Boros and his left-wing subprime schemer friends Sherbert and Maria Handler. In an unprecedented move yesterday, NBC yanked the video of the skit from their Web site, and it is gone from YouTube.

Well friends, God Bless the New Transparency. Some enterprising bloggers snagged the offending clip, and here it is in all its glory. Or if you prefer, a transcript.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Stéphane Dion Plagiarizes John McCain Conference Speech

Trusty Tory reports that over a quarter of Stéphane Dion’s speech at the United Nations Climate Change Conference in 2005 was plagiarized directly from a 2004 speech given to the U.S. Senate committee chaired by none other than John McCain.
Bobama Rae comments: "This isn't just deeply embarrassing for Mr. Stéphane Dion — he would have been expelled from l'Université de Montréal for pulling such a stunt — but it speaks to the heart of what is deeply wrong with the old Naturist Governing Party. And that's why I am the odds on choice to become next leader of the New Puffin Party of Canada".
Canadians want to know: Can Backpack Boy deep six his speechwriter, or did he assemble the speech himself? And will this shame never end?

US Branch Plant Lefties Trying to Influence Canadian Politics?

According to John Baird, it looks like George Boros (right), Obama's chief benefactor (to the tune of $40 million), is bankrolling efforts against the Reality Party of Canada. That's us. SAVE THE PLANET: STOP HARPER! they scream.

Environmental group is a tentacle of, which was founded by, which is funded by Boros, owner of the Democratic Party of the USA. Their Canadian Web site currently says Copyright 2008 AVAAZ.ORG.

In other news, Obama's ACORN group, a political poverty pimp community organization (and a private corporation) which bullied Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to increase mortgages for US minorities, with predictable disastrous results, also has a Canadian branch plant: ACORN has been convicted of voter fraud in over 20 US states.

"You’ve got only a couple thousand bucks in the bank. Your job pays you dog-food wages. Your credit history has been bent, stapled, and mutilated. You declared bankruptcy in 1989. Don’t despair: You can still buy a house.” - Chicago Sun-Times, April 1995, directing people to contact ACORN.

Both these "Canadian" groups lack a charismatic leader with a big deep voice. The only one on the horizon I can think of is, yes, The Justin Child, or better still, his "progressive" brother Sasha.

Canadians demand to know: Who will Boros buy?

Bobama Rae Gives Backpack Boy the Kiss of Death

In the Italian Mafia, the Kiss of Death is usually given to someone as a sign that they are about to die. Let's hope M. Dion has the sense to throw this pompous rascal out of caucus and back to the National Dope Party (N.D.P.) where he belongs.
Pix: Nathan Denette, CP

Cleaning Up After The Latest Duceppe Speech

I guess the old Maoist teeth are showing at last, Gilles. Calling an opponent a "cheater" who lacks "judgment and moral sense" is just the taunting of a schoolyard bully.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Marg Delahunty Loses It, Barbecues Yours Truly

Jeez Marg, you didn't have to go all menopausal on me and burn my favourite sweater. Like it was a fetish object or something. I've never seen you like this. Where did our love go? Did Danny Williams get to you or something?

PS: The sleepover at 24 Sussex is off.
SOURCE: CBC This Hour. Your tax dollars at work.

I Could Have Sworn I Saw Liz May Winkin' At Me Last Night

...while across the border, Sarah was winkin' up a storm. Clearly Botox Joe Biden was utterly charmed.
Caution: C&W soundtrack

Pretty Predictable, But Better Than Botoxed Biden

As you know, I'm not a big fan of these gang-ups. I would have preferred a pool party gala at 24 Sussex, but at least we were around a table instead of at the podium, and it was kind of cool that Jack went after Stéphane, which saved me the trouble. Must have been all the political love I sent his way during the French debate.

Here's Stéphane during the pre-debate photo op, boring Jack and I with more details about his Carbon Shaft.

Wow that Liz May sure is a breath of fresh air, eh? What a feisty scrapper. I think I'll offer her a Senate seat. I mean, that's the only way to keep her out of trouble, right? (And out of the House of Commons? - Ed)

I suggested to Guy that if she toned down her rhetoric a touch, maybe we could bring Liz into Cabinet, and move John Baird over to Foreign Affairs, and Peter to Finance. Guy scoffed and said it would be a mistake - she would try to take over the Senate, and she wouldn't last a week in Cabinet.

Gilles, another great performance, and you nearly had me on the ropes a couple of times. A-
Pix: Chris Wattie, Reuters

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Bobama Rae Deeply Embarassed

SpokesPuffin Bobama Rae couldn't afford to hire his own speechwriter, so he's making it up as he goes along.

I have this to say about his recent embarassing passing of wind by the mouth.

"This isn't just deeply embarrassing for Mr. Bobama Rae — he would have been expelled from Blowhard Collegiate, let alone a university, for pulling this stunt (it's called verbal marshmallowing) — but it speaks to the heart of what is deeply wrong with the old National Dope Party (N.D.P.), which kicked him out, and the current pretend Democratic Liberal party of which he is the putative leader."

Pix: Bobama in a serious moment, by Frank Gunn/CP (Thinking about that pesky haemerroid? - Ed)

What a Bizarre Election

This borders on the cruel.

Hey, it's "crunch time" for Count Ignatula and Bobama Rea, right?
Cartoon: Theo "Mou" Moudakis Torstar

Memo to Speechwriters

Just don't plagiarize Dubya, OK?