Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Who's Haunting Stornoway Tonight?

Count Ignatula, that's who.

Bring out your dead! Down Kyoto!

Well, apparently a couple of ex-Puffin PMs did show up, but since this was a photo op, Mme. Dion shoo-ed the cons away.

©CUPS (Motto: "Your Tax Dollars at Work"); Christopher Pike, Reuters

Puffin-Speak Infects Top Journos

Today, in our quest to root out Puffin-Speak in the national media, we're looking at a typical article in the Trawna Star, headlined PM again sticks it to Liberals.

Chantal Hébert says that "Stephen Harper has taken advantage of an official opposition empty net to aggressively advance his agenda." Apparently our throne speech "thumbed its nose at opposition demands on the environment and the Afghan mission. Then the government put an election gun to the head of the other parties to ensure passage of its law-and-order policies.... The Liberals had been musing about corporate tax cuts. That rug has basically been pulled from under them.... The Conservatives also served notice yesterday that they were opening a new front in their war on Dion's image."

Jeez, that's scary. It's enough to make all those loving, caring, Starbucks-swilling Torontonians run and hide under the bed when big bad Stephen bangs on the door, even if he is bearing tax cuts.

Now Mme. Hébert, I want to address you personally on this. I have a great deal of respect for your writing, and never thought for a moment that you were a member of the "Stephen Harper Eats Babies" school of journalism. Hey, you may even be right about our motives, which history will judge.

I love the empty net metaphor, but otherwise I'm quite disappointed. I know you have to file something most days. That's your job. But even if Torostar editors are happy to let breathtaking strings of cliches pass into print, that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. And I know tonight is Halloween, and I know you have to scare the kiddies, but you really should go easy on the scary Puffinalia. It just dumbs down your message.

Perhaps you would be happier at some other paper...
Pix: Radio-Canada, Tout le monde en parle

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Back to the Basics - Harpernomics™ For Socialists

People often ask me, "what's an economist like you doing as Prime Minister? Surely Parliament is all about lawmaking and leaders should be lawyers". Well, I reply, it's probably time Canadians had a dose of "the dismal science."

"The trouble with lawyers," my Rt. Hon. buddy from Baie Comeau told me the other day, "is that all they know how to do is bill clients. They don't know sweet God-@#&%*@! about economics. I know, and I'm a lawyer."

So that's why I've undertaken this project, Back to the Basics - Harpernomics™ For Socialists, to help socialistically inclined Canadians get a better understanding of how things work in the real world. I'm also trying it out on the Cabinet, starting with Jim Prentice. Here, catch...

By the way, do you know why we did $60 billion in tax cuts today? to win the coming election? to feel good? to help hard working Canadians? to aggressively enforce our scary right-wing, US-style agenda? Nope. The real reason was to ramp down the growth of the civil service. In the last days of his reign, debt-fighter Paulie lost it. He wanted everybody to love him and be happy and get civil service jobs. This is the whole essence of Puffinomics™,

But life's not like that, and too many functionaries act as a drag on the country. The only way bureaucratic growth can be controlled is to turn down the tap gradually and let 'em scream. Look for increasing levels of screaming over the next little while. Especially from those CUPE and PIPS people.

I'll be doing a class a week starting later this week. So stay tuned, and I'll be lobbing essay assignments at you regularly.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Namaste, Old Fella!

and keep smiling...

Now if we could just harmonize the GST with provincial sales taxes and get a common financial regulator....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

An Open (Love) Letter to Elizabeth May

Dear Elizabeth:

While Laureen and I were having breakfast the other day, my wife suddenly whooped with laughter while she was reading the Ottawa Citizen. When I asked her what was up, she actually went a bit red in the face, and passed me an article that talks about you making bread, and more, so much more.

"I work hard at loving Stephen Harper," says Ms. May, as she mixes bread dough in a large crockery bowl in the kitchen of her New Edinburgh home. "I don't dislike him as a person. I feel sorry for him as a person. He's obviously a person who has a hard time being happy. That's the basis on which I attempt to love him."

While I am delighted to see see that you have abandoned Kyoto and are studying to become an Anglican priest, let me suggest that I feel well loved by my family and friends, and these days I have a really hard time keeping the smirk off my face.

Your good neighbour,


PS: What really makes me happy are home-baked cookies. We'll be around for some on Hallowe'en. (I'll be dressed as Count Ignatula)

Monday, October 22, 2007

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Stop Piling On Stéphane

I would like to take this opportunity to remind all True Blue Conservatives that Stéphane Dion is a good guy and a great Canadian, and a better Liberal than all those sleazy characters who infested Ottawa during the dark days. So I say to you pack journalists and camp followers, lay off M. Dion. The fun is over. Don't gloat. We have some policies to debate and bills to pass.

I'll have to lay off this blog a bit, and dedicate most of my time to ramming our uncaring, unfeeling, right-wing agenda through Parliament. Wish me luck.
PS: I got a lot of complaints about this blog entry. OK, OK, cool your jets. So Backpack Boy is a bit obsessive compulsive about Kyoto, but hey, his heart's in the right place, capiche?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Studied Ambiguity, Mon Cou!

I hoped you like the show. Here are two of my favourite pictures from the glorious event. The C-in-C sure looked splendid, n'est-ce pas?
Stéphane, back on his meds, was reasonably gracious about the demise of Kyoto, but in another scrum my operatives found Iggy the House Elf holding forth and boring the pants off the journos: "We are looking at what we think of as a disappointing speech, a vague speech," he snarked. "I don't see poisoned pills here, I see studied ambiguity." Yeah whatever. ZZZZZZZZZZ.

What puzzles me is this guy Iggy is not even following the old Lib attack script. He can't fathom that underneath the flowery Throne Speech prose lurks my real goals - what he should be attacking as "Harper's scary, right-wing agenda"*. i.e. no more sucking up to psychopathic bikers and crack-dealers, etc, etc. Or maybe Iggy just finds the party line tired and pathetic. Who knows?

I called Brian for his impressions. "Not to worry, my son" he rumbled happily. "The Puffins are simply toning down the rhetoric while they figure out what the hell to do next."
*©Torostar, CPAN (Canadian Peoples Agitprop Network)

Pix: CP Sean Kirkpatrick, Fred Chartrand

Monday, October 15, 2007

We're Ready, Bring on the Opposition!

King Kenney Photoschlock©CUPS (Motto: "Your Tax Dollars at Work")

Yikes, Stéphane Just Called...

... with an ultimatum: "Either you say da nice ting about Kyoto in da Trone Speech or I suspend myself."

I finally talked him down and told him I knew he deeply cared about this issue and we were working on a "Made-in-Canada solution" to climate change and maybe his friend Elizabeth May could be on the panel if he really insisted.

I got Kevin to listen in on the other line. Right away he thumbed Senator Smith, who is going to have a chat with him ASAP.

Must be off his Paxil....

Chrétien and Martin - Two Amigos and One Bright Red Herring

You know I have never entirely 100% bought this Martin-Chrétien scrap, and thumbing through Créton's new book only confirms my suspicions.

I think the two right honourable gents hatched the whole charade over drinks at Paulie's farm in the townships or Créton's cottage in Shawinigan. OK, so it got a bit out of control.

See at the time, the conservatives in Canada were in total disarray - much like the Puffin forces are now, but Créton was facing the sponsorship scandal and Paulie some embarrassing questions about Canada Steamships, not to mention the whole casa Gagliano. But how to bail with dignity?

There was no opposition to speak of, so they decided to manufacture an internal bun fight during the leadership transition to keep the Librano foot-soldiers in fighting trim. Then when Paulie was crowned, they threw up Gomery as a bone for the journos. What a gripping soap opera. Cash in envelopes, the whole boule de marde. The journos just loved the golf ball scene. (Memo to Sandra - can you get me some of those?)

What a blast! Of course Paulie's evil capos did more damage than expected - poor Kinsella* (below, right) was roughed up by the martinizers and forced to flee to Toronto and work for McGuilty - but jeez it sure was a powerful high colonic purgative for the Naturist Governing Party.

I put this theory to Brian, but he just chuckled and changed the subject.

And now the "petit gars de Shawinigan" is continuing the charade with his book, blaming Paulie for the deployment in Khandahar. Gimme a break.

The only thing believable in the book is his account of how Aline chased away the intruder at 24 Sussex. Credit where credit is due. I suppose his publishers will be happy. I guess someday the real story will come out when Ron Graham's notes are released.

Whew! Anyway, I've got a Throne Speech to write. Now lemme see... What to do about Kyoto the dog.... hmmm...
*His latest tome, The War Room (Dundurn Press), should be required reading around here, so we can all understand what makes the Big Red Beast tick. Memo to Sandra: Can somebody pop down to Heather's book barn and get me a copy.

Pix: CP

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Okay, Okay, Congratulations

A lot of people are accusing me of being mean spirited about Al Gore, and focusing on his bare-faced lies instead of the scattered half-truths interspersed in his Academy Award winning pile of slush. But I must say the guy should be awarded the Nobal Prize for chutzpah anyway.

If Al becomes US President, I can't wait to see how he will try and slither out from under the weight of the convenient untruths he has unloaded on the world. How about a few tax breaks for carbon neutral industries....?

Want to know what bugs me about Al? He has turned the focus away from other pollution issues like auto emissions and water degradation and overgrazing and getting in place technological fixes etc etc, and got all the enviro-dummies to focus on what he now calls "Climate Change." It used to be "Global Warming", but if the weather trends colder he's got a fall-back argument and can run with the New Ice Age bogeyman. Jeez, I guess some people can only grasp one Big Idea at a time. Here's who I want to see President: Ahnold. The Governator. Now there's a guy with enviro-cojones. End of Rant.

Friday, October 12, 2007

That Williams Will Do Anything to Get Elected

©CUPS (Motto: "Your Tax Dollars at Work")

Judge Warns Teachers, Curb Al Gore Hot Air Now

Heard the news? A British High Court judge has ruled that Al Gore is, not to put too fine a point on it, a bare-faced prevaricating gas-bag. Judge Michael Burton ordered the teachers to stop indoctrinating and messing with childrens' minds by playing An Inconvenient Truth ad nauseum. They also have to balance all the force-feeding envirohype with some critical commentary.

Over here in Canada, Mark Steyn reports that an Ontario student was complaining the other day that, "whatever subject you do, you have to sit through Gore's movie: It turns up in biology class, in geography, in physics, in history, in English."

I am told our own CPAN (Canadian Peoples Agitpop Network) hasn't yet deigned to feature the story yet, but have a look at this BBC piece. Hilarious. Check out Al's polar bear fabrication in particular.Apparently Maggie Thatcher started this whole global warming scare when she set up a grant program to try and convince the British to stop foreign oil imports, and use British gas instead. What a boo-boo. The thing got horribly out of control, and became a "perfect storm" of pseudo-science. Now there's a giant army of well-paid functionaries stalking the world whose sole job is to jet to meetings and puff about greenhouse gas. They've even infiltrated the Nobel Peace Prize committee and given him more money. Scary.

I have to confess this government is not immune. I had to call out Flaherty when he mentioned the subject in a recent speech.
This Scary, US-style Photoshop Satire Courtesy The World Organization of Outrageous Photoshop Satirists (WOOPS)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Strategizing Facebook

There's nothing much to do before the Throne Speech except patch things up with Nova Scotia, phone defeated Ontario PCs, forge a made-in-Canada greenhouse gas policy banning the release of water vapour, and read interminable briefing books, so the staff have once again been kicking around the idea of me getting a Facebook site. I'm mildly curious, so I ask, which US candidate has the best page? Brodie liked Hilary's effort the best, but I thought it looked hokey. Tabarnouche the woman has 37,000 friends! Jeez come ON. How pathetic.

I told them I still don't like the idea. Who needs all those online virtual friends, unless they want to donate to the Party, right? We'd have to hire a full time typist to reply to all the nudges and winks and pokes and virtual martinis or whatever they do. There's no way the taxpayers of Canada are paying for this. But that the hell, it runs itself anyway. As long as I don't have to do it.

PS: An interesting suggestion came in from one of our culture jammers in Toronto - set up a Parliament of Canada site in Second Life, and just let the politico-avatars shout at each other and wave their arms about. Call it Question Period. The next step is virtually voting, where citizen avatars from across the whole country can participate every four years, hitting button blue or button red or button orange or button green, depending on their receptivity to policy spin.

How to Handle Khandahar

With extreme caution. Just kidding.

What I really mean is "How to Spin Khandahar." What I've been kicking around with Sandra and Kevin is to say in the Throne Speech that "this government sees the need to rethink and repurpose the whole mission, to examine priorities and then forge a tighter national policy on strategic interventions with our NATO partners so we can make a better informed decision than the previous Dithers regime."

Kevin proposed we go beyond spin - what a novel idea! and try and get more influential people on side. So tomorrow I'm going to announce that we're reaching out to a former House of Commons colleague who has fallen on hard times. We're appointing John Manley to head a commission to look at our Afghan options after 2009. We found poor Manley working in the high-tech industry west of Ottawa, forced to solder components to make ends meet and feed his growing family. When I called him and offered him a job, I heard a stifled sob at the end of the line. Clearly a cry of relief.

It's really sad to think how badly Paulie's goons treated this guy, and great to have him back in the game. Welcome Home Big John!

Our Man in Afgana

Here's our Vandoozer hanging out in a Chinook...
and handing out foreign aid stuff made in La Beauce.
What a gar!

Pix:Paul Chiasson/Reuters

Sorry John Tory

The gist of our conversation this morning on BlackBerry #4: "I see you took the loss like a man, and accepted blame, which is all well and good. You're better off without a seat in that echo chamber they call Queen's Park anyway. Want to spend the rest of your life looking across the aisle at McGuilty's dopey grin?..... You do?"

"Now apart from Rogers where you did great work, your resume may be a bit thin, what with the Kim Campbell campaign and your CFL expansion into the US, but there may be an ambassadorship we can come up with. Let me see... Azerbaijan? Belarus? Darfur? Eritrea?"

"Not interested? Well, OK, all the best. Gotta country to run. Out."

Who Will Be the Next US President?

People have been asking me who I would like to see as the new US president. I just don't know. I'm still waiting for the Republicans to come up with somebody half decent.

Democrats? Osama's got a great deep voice. I kind of favour Gore, cause he's a genial Beltway kind of bufflehead, except when he blows his stack about global warming. I'm betting he'll be the choice. Billary I can't abide.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Oops, Dropped the Ball!

Fooled you. I know what you were thinking, but images can sometimes mislead the mind. Actually, Sandra is always warning me to take extra care with CP and Torstar picture snappers around. "You must realize," she says, "they want your scalp on their belt. They are all trying to duplicate the famous Robert Stanfield fumble, which of course doomed his electoral chances."

And yet I'm a risk taker at heart, and still hit the old gridiron when I get the chance. I actually picked up this Puffin fumble on the bounce and scampered into the end zone for a TOUCHDOWN! Look at the the balance, the skill and, dare I say it, the mojo. Scuffed my loafers a bit but didn't even break a sweat. High fives all around from my Cabinet colleagues.

But alas, Sandra is right. The joy of scoring must always be leavened with a dose of caution, especially with Puffins flying about overhead.
This harmless jeu d'esprit was 'shopped by Alyssa Palmer of the Canadian Union of Public Satirists (CUPS), a coalition loosely attached to Rick Mercer's nether regions. A pretend CPC membership is going out to you today, Melissa!

Speaking of Mercer, have a look at:
He's short, he's short, he's got his own report.

Repeat After Me, Nobody Wants an Election

But I'm sceptical about the reason why. Must have something to do with Puffin Party finances. Hey maybe we SHOULD have an election after all. NAH. Kill that thought.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

A Great Conservative Waxes Autumnal

Brian just linked me this. "Note Rick Mercer is being properly obsequious," he jokes, "in the face of so much greatness. Meaning he never once appears on camera, never appears nude, never rants and roars. On the other hand, maybe he was in the kitchen with Barbara eating cookies."
Poor Crossharbour. Stuck in Palm Beach during hurricane season. Our prayers go out to you this Thanksgiving. Next year, if I'm still around, come on up to Harrington Lake.

And knock 'em dead with your appeal. You have added far more value than your shareholders (and fellow countrymen) deserved.

Monday, October 8, 2007

McGuilty as Hell!

Jeez I nearly upchucked my Thanksgiving cruller when I read that Dalton McGuilty is whining to the press about Tory's attempt to inject some seriousness into the provincial campaign. Apparently McGuilty took personal umbrage at Tory's classic "mean bastard" attack ad that accused him of suing parents with autistic children.

I called Brian immediately. "I HATE attack ads," I said. "Calm down, Stephen," he rumbled. "I know John Tory is not shall we say unacquainted with attack ads from his days handling the Kim Campbell campaign. But times have changed. The electorate is far more sophisticated today, and they won't put up with this kind of hypocrisy, right my friend?"

I'm not convinced. People like Kinsella and his punk friends still make me nervous. I've been there, and I suspect some of McGuilty's handlers are the same inane idiots who came out with those paranoid Liberal ads in the 2006 campaign. Remember? I had made a common-sense proposal to station military personnel around cities, in case of potential natural disasters or other situations like a terrorist attack. Scary, right? So anyway, the adverdopers went to work. Cue the sound of war drums beating... "Stephen Harper actually announced he wants to increase military presence in our cities. Canadian cities. Soldiers with guns. In our cities. In Canada. We did not make this up."

This intellectual abscess was SO BAD that even the sleaziest Grit realized we had passed a watershed in Canadian civic discourse. It was so pathetic that even Paulie ordered it cut, but by that time he was out of control himself, throwing grants and programs at everybody, foaming at the mouth, deranged by all that GST money pouring in. Nobody was listening any more.

Let's face it, the Grit War Room was totally zouin-zouin in 2006. I'm not making this up. There's more here.

Anyway, this ad will be studied in Political Science classes for generations. It marked the true nadir of Canadian political campaigning, and all decent parliamentarians realized we had nowhere to go but up.

So stop whining McGuilty! This is NOTHING compared to what I had to face.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Real Leader of the Puffin Party of Canada

This monstrosity comes from one of our Toronto culture jammers, who is a charter member of the Canadian Union of Public Satirists (Motto: "Your Tax Dollars at Work") and a secret Peoples CBC slave at Fort Dork. He kindly shared it with the Party through our research office political skunk works.

Apparently Rick Mercer and CUPS have been sponsoring what they call "Responsible Photoshop Workshops" in our schools, colleges, prisons and other public institutions. Our operative called this work, "Iggy the House Joker or the Real Count Ignatula". It was roundly condemned as "scary", "unfair" and "US-style satire".

I agree. I find this entry a perfectly pathetic depiction of an adversary for whom I have the utmost respect and admiration. I'd like to take this opportunity to state categorically that at no time does my government condone any such satiric activities, even though they may very well be in the national interest.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I'm Holding My First Real Press Conference Today

In the National Press Theatre - the belly of the beast. I got permission from Sandra, and people like Keith Boog have promised her they'll behave themselves and not rant at me. We've all got to make a living, right?

Actually it's a last minute thing -- Brian recommended we do this during our daily conference call this morning. He told me, "Stephen, you did just fine in New York, and it's time to take off the training wheels and talk to the #$^%@ journalists on their own turf."

Anyway, don't miss it. I'm cancelling prorogation and calling an election.... Woops, can't do that. Actually I'm going to announce something really earth-shattering, and spin my upcoming Speech from the Throne.

Oh and by the way, Gilles and Stéphane are both crossing the floor and joining the Conservative Party of Canada. Fortier engineered the whole thing with some friends from SNC-Lavalife.

What a genius that guy is! I've got to thank Brian for bringing him on board. Hope he gets elected cause he's got a sterling future in politics if he wants it. Might even replace me down the line. I never really wanted this job anyway, but somebody had to do the dirty work and pull the Righteous Right together again.

Jeez things are moving fast around here. It's enough to make the ol' prime ministerial head spin.

Well anyway, I did OK, I was sort of professorial, and the Press behaved themselves, and now we can all enjoy the hockey game. Sens by 1...

I Asked Brian WTH Is Going On With The Grits

I just had a talk with him on BlackBerry #1. "What's REALLY going on here?" I asked. "Well," he rumbled in that deep old Irish baritone, "As you know, Senator David Smith of the reputable Toronto firm Fraser Milner Casgrain is the leader of what you amusingly call the "Iggy the House Elf" faction. He is not a stupid man. In fact he is a very nice man, and he hates to see his beloved party go down the drain. -- I can empathize there. So, if I may use the vernacular for a moment, he and John Rae are going to $%#@*& kick some sorry Grit ass."

"Anyhoo Stephen, Paulie tells me, in strictest confidence of course, that they have decided to keep you in power and vote for the Throne Speech on the grounds that this country does not need an election just now. The deal is you have to fuzzify Khandahar and propose a long term policy study by the Commons, so Stéphane can support you with good grace. This will give them a few months to figure out how to install your friend Iggy."

"So you can relax. Everybody can relax. And Peter Newman, you can take a %$%#@$ Valium."

Works for me. Thanks Senator Smith.

Why Not Just Abstain From Showing Up At All?

I mean, nobody wants an election, right?

But lookee here. The Liberal Beast is starting to wake up again, with reports that Grit heavyweights Senator David Smith and Bob Rae's brother John are coming on board to staunch the bleeding, rebuild party unity and get the Dion juggernaut back on track.
(Does this mean Iggy is taking over? -Ed.)

Apparently Backback Boy is a micro-manager. (Jeez, who would have believed it?) And he got seriously out of touch by surrounding himself with gate-keeping flunkies, technical maniacs and MBAs, you know what I mean?

Paul Wells says that before the Quebec City caucus retreat last January, the Dionmobile started sending out "organizational charts. Regional campaign-readiness charts. Regional and national policy roundtable charts. OLO org charts. Caucus critic responsibility charts. I joked, at the time, that responsibility for designing Dion Liberalism seemed to have been subcontracted to Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics." Ugh.

Hockey Season Starts This Week

And it's Leafs vs. Sens, back to back, home and home. I'm rooting for both of them. Here I am with one of my old boyhood idols. Yes it's Davey Keon!

Jeez, what a great old geezer, eh?

Sometimes I wonder, when are the Leafs going to win the Stanley Cup again?

Maybe they need a new leader.....

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Bloc to Join Conservatives

I wish. As you may know, Brian and I have been trying for years to get Bloc Québecois members to defect or return to the Conservatives, but today's misstep by my parliamentary colleague Gilles Duceppe may force the issue. He is quoted in today's La Presse as saying he will lead the Bloc in the next election, but will resign shortly afterwards.

Gilles, you've just lame-duckified yourself. Tabarnouche, I mean cou don', get a grip on yourself! Why would anybody vote for a party without knowing who the next leader is going to be? I mean, that's like voting Liberal.

I know some policy wonk-meister has told you to make your ENTIRE platform the withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan because 75% of Quebeckers don't like the mission. But Gilles, elections don't work that way.

Look, most of you bloquistes have got your parliamentary pensions nailed down, correct? So maybe now's the time to wind down the party.

The weather is still nice. Why don't you just come up to Harrington Lake and we'll have a chat. I'd like you to urge your Bloc MPs, at least the old Bouchard Conservatives, to consider rejoining the Conservative party. After all, we're both BLEU, d'accord? And we both believe in QUÉBECKERS AS A NATION, right? Then that would free your left wingers to go off and run for the new Mulcair NPD!

In your heart you know I'm right.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Am NOT Attending This Year's Press Gallery Dinner

Well, it so happens that Laureen and I are already booked for an intimate dinner party on October 27 with our Commander-in-Chief and Jean-Daniel at Rideau Hall. But I can't deny there might be some other factors that come into play:
1. As you are well aware by now, I'm an angry person with a hidden agenda. This doesn't go over well with soft-headed journos.

2. The Leafs are playing the Sens that night, and if I run I can make 24 Sussex in time to see the 3rd period highlights.

3. I'm a shy person and get easily rattled in large gatherings. You don't want to see me rattled, do you? It's not a pretty sight.

4. Paulie might be there, and I have to confess, sometimes he scares me. Plus my good buddy Gilles and his party are still refusing to go along with the gag.

5. My son thinks it would be cool to be a journalist. I'm really not sure I want to encourage this line of thinking.

6. I just hate the idea of listening to card-carrying Liberals beating up in public on my esteemed parliamentary colleague Stéphane Dion.

7. Jane Taber doesn't like me, plain and simple. So I'm taking my ball and going home.

8. My idea of fun is not hanging out with a bunch of drunken Puffin Party operatives and pinko dopers. I mean, I may look a bit like the dean from Animal House, but don't force me to act like him.

9. Sandra put her foot down and said, "I told you, NO, and I mean it this time." Oui, madame.

10. Scott Feschuk refused to write me a speech.
Pix: CP Jonathan Hayward; 2004 PGD

Monday, October 1, 2007

Rouleau Saskatchewan Press Gallery

Now here's a shot of one of my fondest memories from the last election campaign. Sometimes I wish the Parliamentary Press Gallery would show the same deference to the PMC as these honest, straightforward Saskatchewan scribes. But Sandra says, "you're dreaming, boss. The Ottawa hacks all vote left, and they're all waiting for you to drop a football or something."

Pathetic. I guess you've got to treat them with distain before they respect you. Look how Trudeau had them wrapped around his little pinkie.