Monday, January 26, 2009

Massaging Michael

Dear Fake Interim Leader of the Opposition:

Look, don't be so shocked. It's just my brand new multi billion dollar coalition style budget, and I hope you like it. We need another election like a hole in the head, right?

Hopefully we won't have to pull all those economic levers. Now let's work on those so-called "middle class tax cuts" you and the Torostar don't want us to bring in.

Anyhoo, I look forward to crossing swords with you in the days to come, and educating your entire caucus, including that McCallum guy, about what's important in the days ahead.

Yours for a better Canada,


US Media Goes Bananas Over Obama

I'd kill for these headlines:

- "A Day When Even the Seagulls Were Awed"
- "Cheney Exiting Like 'Dr. Strangelove'"
- "Press Gets Intimate with Obama"
- "An Inaugural Speech 'For the Ages'"
- "As Obama Ascends, Horn Honking Ends"
- "After Eight Years of Hell, Celebrating Soulful, Brilliant Obama"

So much for the noble profession of journalism.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Harpernomics for Socialists #11 - Helping the Poor

I see tough talking Mikey the Mike is still wandering in La La land. In a recent Le Devoir interview, he said that he will reject any Conservative budget that contains tax cuts for the middle classes, but will support any measure that help the poor and create jobs.

Sorry Count, but you're wrong on both counts.

1) The Poor pay a higher proportion of their income on GST and PST than the rich. Ergo, any cut to these taxes benefits the serfs and peasants more than the bourgeoisie. Or would you prefer government hiring programs?

2) Tax increases provide more jobs for bureaucrats and their programs. Tax cuts leave more money in the hands of people and businesses. One way makes things better. Your way will make things worse.

So I'll ask you again, who's doing your economics? My advice is, fire him.

Or did you get this stuff from focus groups? Or is the Coalition of the Damned™ still in operation?

Congratulations to the New Pres

Congratulations to you, the new leader of Obamastan, and I'm delighted you're paying us a visit first.

Look Barry, if I can get personal, I know you're going to have a hell of a time living up to all these expectations, but let's face it, it's your own damn fault.

So the offer is open. If you need any help reforming your banking or health care systems, or even NAFTA, just give us a shout.

Oh and by the way, ditto if you ever need any energy.

So good luck, eh?
PS: I just want to say that I may have been critical of you in the past, but a recent report from Carleton University says it's important for us to be best buddies. So I'm willing to give it a try. Let's shoot a few hoops and maybe I can show you how to skate.
PPS: Sorry, but we don't want Bill Ayers. Try Iceland.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Puffins Still Don't Get It

Warning: Puffinomics eruption.

So Mikey the Mike says "Stephen Harper spent the government down to the red line in good times," and he's not going to support any more of my terrible terrible tax cuts.

This from a guy who never managed anything bigger than a graduate seminar.

Clearly the Count can't count. Where's he getting his economics from? Bob Rae? It sure isn't Obama, who has come out firmly for tax cuts.

So it's back to the Coalition, Mikey the Mike?

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Obamafication of Count Ignatula

We're watching closely as the Count morphs into an Obama-like creature. I'm calling him Mikey the Mike.

First it was crop the hair short like Barry. Second, appear in shirtsleeves with a mike, lecturing an adoring crowd about helping out the poor. Third, perma-tan to give him a slight cafe au lait tinge. Fourth, smile a lot and carry around a cup of Tim Horton's (this nice touch ©Warren Kinsella).

All this shows up the intellectual bankruptcy of the Puffin Party of Canada. Yes, my friends, now led by the man who invented the name two summers ago in St. John's, Dannyland, after too much screech.

More analysis from the War Room as this develops.