Sunday, September 13, 2009

Welcome Back Class!

Welcome back to Hogwarts on the Rideau.

I'm pleased to announce that Count Ignatula will be head boy this term, with responsibilities for moving non-confidence motions, and keeping up his public intellectual persona in order to befuddle the public. Jack and Gilles, depending on the bill, your job is to rage and complain in committee, but in the Commons you will either support or vote against the Puffin motions, depending on your turn in the rotation.

Once in a while either Jack or Gilles will introduce a non-confidence motion, in which case the other aggrieved third party agrees to vote with us. The Puffins can vote as their conscience dictates.

In conclusion, I want to sincerely thank the Count and his brains trust for their loyal support in the past two terms, particularly in getting us out of that Three Stooges imbroglio. I particularly want to thank Jack and his new buddy Jim Flaherty for bailing Ontario out of that GM/Chrysler mess.

Isn't it wonderful what we can do when we work together for a better Canada! Gilles, I'm still waiting to hear from you about some forestry biomass projects we've got on the boil. Come on, la nation qu├ębecoise wants you to get going on this, so if I can be unparliamentary for a moment, bouges tes fesses!

Remember, team, a lot of parliamentary pensions are at stake here, and there should be no election for another couple of years. That does not mean we stop talking about an election. Au contraire, we always have to give the slathering journos something to write about, because economics is boring on TV, right?

OK, any questions? No? OK, see you in QP.

Class dismissed. You have a free period in the Library.