The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: The Obamafication of Count Ignatula

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Obamafication of Count Ignatula

We're watching closely as the Count morphs into an Obama-like creature. I'm calling him Mikey the Mike.

First it was crop the hair short like Barry. Second, appear in shirtsleeves with a mike, lecturing an adoring crowd about helping out the poor. Third, perma-tan to give him a slight cafe au lait tinge. Fourth, smile a lot and carry around a cup of Tim Horton's (this nice touch ©Warren Kinsella).

All this shows up the intellectual bankruptcy of the Puffin Party of Canada. Yes, my friends, now led by the man who invented the name two summers ago in St. John's, Dannyland, after too much screech.

More analysis from the War Room as this develops.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)