Monday, January 21, 2008

Dion Tours War Torn Base With Count

My esteemed parliamentary colleague Stéphane Dion has just toured our base at Khandahar with Count Ignatula.

I am told that Iggy's ancestor, Count Nicholas Pavlovich Ignatieff (right), who was expelled from England for nefarious intelligence activities, started the whole Afghan mess 150 years ago when he helped foment the Crimean War, then got the Russians into the act in Afghanistan in order to destabilize the British Empire. What a bloody rotter!

My how times have changed. I see the count did not allow himself to be photographed wearing a helmet, and M. Dion quickly removed his at the first sign of the cameras, so as not to be tagged with the militarist label. (What, no Dukakis moment? - Ed)

I am told on usually good authority that Ignatula may have advised Dion to threaten NATO intervention in Pakistan, which got him terrible press.

Is this the kind of man we want as our Minister of External Affairs or even Defence, or, perish the thought, Prime Minister? The man whose ancestor started the whole Afghanistan mess in the first place? I say it would be far better for Canadian unity if Justin TrueDoh got the job of replacing Dion.

(Source: Conservative Party Research Office; Flashman in the Great Game, by G. M. Fraser)