The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: We Really Should Prorogue

Monday, June 9, 2008

We Really Should Prorogue

I've said this before, but let's face it, we're all exhausted. You guys from your desperate demonizing of moi, Teflon Steve, us from having to put up with your endless Puffin Party of Canada flyovers and droppings.

Time to do a little gardening, fight off black flies at the cottage, take Kyoto for a walk, apologize to Julie (and then never have anything more to do with her), watch a little Sesame Street with Bobama Rae.

Besides, nobody wants an election, right, even though the major Puffins are spinning that they do?

And everybody's watching the freak show south of the border, us with horror, you with adulation. All you hypnotized Dem-wannabe lefties would much rather drink the Obama Kool Aid, right?

So let's hit the reset button, and Make a Fresh Start for Canadians!™

Yes We Can.

PS: I see the buzz is already out on Sparks Street. Maybe I'll announce it this week.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)