The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: Jeez What a Summer

Friday, August 10, 2007

Jeez What a Summer

Trust me, troops, I'm doing all I can on the rubber chicken curcuit. Now it's rubber moose. I'm up north of 60, trying to get somebody with an ice auger to fly to the Pole and drill a hole so I can drop a lead-weighted Maple Leaf on top of Poutine's pathetic tricolour.

Whew! Here's Poutine at the North Pole just before he got into his mini-sub. Jeez, he looks like the bad guy in Red October. Maybe Ben's right and I should take up karate.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)