The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: The Trap Has Been Set

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Trap Has Been Set

This just in. The New Puffin Party of Canada has decided to stake it all on a tax break for the rich. They've hired Rick Mercer to shill for them with a new bunch of campaign ads that are almost as bizarre as Paulie's "We're not making this up" series in 2006.

Looks like we're going to the polls, in an April election that nobody wants. With bells on. In Canada. We're not making this up.

Oh well. As long as we can keep Norma Bob Rae out of the House of Commons. I don't think I could stand the boredom of Question Period with that unsufferable marble-mouth.

YES WE CAN.
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Ooops, sorry. No we can't. Ah darn.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)