Friday, November 28, 2008

Harpernomics for Socialists #10 - Taking the Liquidity Valium

OK everybody, take a deep breath, and THINK hard.

Everybody's asking me why I engineered this sideshow. The answer is that we need leverage. We need support from all you guys, to meet this economic crisis. And the last thing Jim Flaherty, the MP for Oshawa, needs is MORE BS about the auto industry. He says we've got to hang in there. Like you, he's waiting for my new friend Obama to heal the planet, stop the rise of the oceans and save the UAW. Apparently this will all happen December 8.

Jack: No more whining about eliminating corporate tax cuts. You want them restored? Let's get real. Think of your Red Tory roots before you act. You know the Puffins will eventually slit your throat if you give them half a chance.

Gilles: Let's make a deal on forestry and infrastructure, and maybe we'll take another look at sending all your aging rock gods and téléroman artistes to Cuba, once a year, or even permanently. No not Guantanamo, although this has crossed my mind.

Honorable Stéphane: Believe it or not, but I don't want you to make any mistakes by going to the altar with the wrong party. But please, no more committee games and demonization, and maybe I'll drop the court case and save us all a few bucks. Want to boost the party donation maximum to $5,000? I could send some of our guys to teach some of your guys how to fundraise. Anything to help you out, capiche?

So people, don't mess with our mandate, as imperfect as it is. You know in your hearts this coalition can't last, and I urge you to stick with the Reality Party of Canada for the moment. At least you'll know where you stand. Out.