The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: God Save McQueen

Thursday, October 16, 2008

God Save McQueen

This may be a complete fabrication, but a little bird told me that there was a tough, soul-searching meeting at Stornaway yesterday, where the big Liberal brass told Backpack Boy to pack his bags.

The problem, you see, is money. With him as leader, the Puffin Party is dead in the water in terms of fundraising.

Now as you know, I don't believe any of this. And I have great respect for the Leader of Her Majesty's Official Opposition (see Her Majesty, top right), and I would love him to stay, but times are tough around the world (see Her Majesty, top right), and with the loss in votes in the last election, the Puffins are taking a $1.6 million hit from Elections Canada.

Thanks Jean Chrétien/Merci au petit gars de Shawinigan.

More as this develops.

Pix: Some Fleet Street Rag, "Queen Forced to Pawn Tiara as Chaos Rages in the City"

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)