The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: I'm Such a Bully and I'm Crushing Your Head

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I'm Such a Bully and I'm Crushing Your Head

Laureen and I were just relaxing and watching Mike Duffy Live last night before the Sens game, and the Duffster had on four Puffin talking heads, including the oily, unctuous, oleagenous Bobama Rae, and guess what, ALL OF THEM said that Stephen Harper is "bullying" the House of Commons.

More and more Canadians are finding this mantra really tiresome. I know the theory, repeat the Big Lie long enough and soon enough people will believe it.

Clearly, through lack of any real policy to fight the downturn, you gang of losers have fallen back on good old let's demonize Yours Truly.

All I can say is, "You flatheads, I'm crushing your head."

Can't you people even be ORIGINAL? I guess not. Let me help you out. First, go to the Susan Delacarte Attack Thesaurus below right. Pick a set of three adjectives, and try to pack them into one sentence, like, I don't know,

"Stephen Harper is ___________, and he's just trying to be _________ with the tax dollars of working Canadians, who think he is so ______. Nanny nanny boo boo."

There, feel better?

Don't blame me if this kind of moronic demonization fails to convince Canadians that you're fit to govern.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)