The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: An Important Message for Puffins Thinking of Defecting

Friday, December 5, 2008

An Important Message for Puffins Thinking of Defecting

Take a number.

No seriously, the response has been overwhelming. One of our tame historians has said this situation is "similar in scope and impact to Robert Borden's wartime unity coalition."

If you want to do the dirty deed, act now and send your CV to Kevin at the PCO. We may have to open up some Minister of State positions. No limo, sorry, but perhaps a fine mid-range Ford, GM or Chrysler vehicle with driver. If you act now we can get you a premium late-model upgrade from Flaherty Motors in Oshawa, OAC.

Out.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)