The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: We're Installing Radical New Political Technology in the PMO

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

We're Installing Radical New Political Technology in the PMO

And here it is. Our brand new Canuckistan III BS Detector that will help us deal with Puffinomics outbreaks. It will also tell us precisely when Count Ignatula and Bobama Rae are telling the truth about voting to keep us in power.

Thanks to all the party's political engineers involved in producing this cool little device, which has an array of infrared, organic odour, climate change, political correctness and other sensors. This baby is Canadian made, and about the size of a BlackBerry.

We're equipping all Conservative Party MPs with the device, so they can stay alert, and also practice being sincere without smelling of BS. Or conversely, be able to spout BS when needed.

We may also be able to use it in upcoming trade negotiations with the Americans, Europeans and Chinese. I may try it out with King's crystal ball, to see if the old guy is telling the truth about how he kept Canada's credit strong during the 1930s.

God I love this country!

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)