The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: A Productive Meeting

Saturday, December 13, 2008

A Productive Meeting

My first meeting with the Count was productive. I was delighted to see he knew where to find me, and he was right on time.

First we went outside into the hot blazing sun. Then at the count of three, we turned, walked fifty faces back and turned to face each other. He squinted at me and spat in the dust. I returned a fierce Bondian glare, my right hand in my pocket gripping my Flaherty PPK. This went on for thirty minutes. I kept my cool but I could tell he was perspiring slightly. Then he blurted out, "I don't need any lessons in legitimacy from you, Harper." And then it was over.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)