The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: Elections Are Like Hockey Games

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Elections Are Like Hockey Games

So here are a few friendly tips.

• 1) Keep your stick on the ice, and stick to the issues.

* 2) Put on your game face. Determined.

• 3) Keep the goofing for practice. Curb your charming sense of humour.

• 4) Follow your coach's orders.

• 5) Fighting is OK, but watch the instigator rule and don't attack the fans in the stands.

• 6) Talk to the nice journalists but don't get too pallsy.

• 7) Give the media the story they need, but not necessarily the one they want. For example, what story is a Canadian Press journo going to pick when given this choice: a) Gerry Ritz the Minister announcing a new program for PEI, or b) Sideshow Bob?

You guessed it.

I love you guys.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)