The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: Battle of the Pollsters Raises Serious Questions of Credibility on Front Street

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Battle of the Pollsters Raises Serious Questions of Credibility on Front Street

Huh? A new Strategic Counsel poll for The Globe n' Male/CTV Snooz says it's a dead heat between us and the Puffin Party of Canada, each holding the support of 32 per cent of Canadians.

And yet SES's Nik Nanos says I'm way ahead of Taliban Jack and Backpack Boy. Something fishy here?

We know that Strategic Counsel partner Peter Dunnolo used to work for the Puffins, Créton in particular. But did the man's past sins influence the choice of questions asked in this poll? Nah, banish that thought. As they say in québecois, "pas possible".

But how can we tell? First, the actual polling questions are not out front in the Globe article. Second, the poll says that 40% of Canadians support petit prince Justin Trudeau as the next Great Leader of the Puffins. This is hardly credible, although I must say having the young PET Pup replace Stéphane would be a wonderful thing for conservatism in Canada, but that's only my personal opinion.

I mean, Justincase doesn't even read the newspapers: as he was quoted in 2005, "I don't read newspapers. I don't watch the news. I figure, if something happens, someone will tell me." Could he have been thinking of the Globe n' Male?

Let me be perfectly clear to Eddie the G and his scribes at the Fortress on Front Street: I fully realize that the Puffins are fighting for their life, but in these new days of media transparency, you can't hide any more, and these sorts of push polls do nothing to enhance your credibility as Canada's National Birdcage Liner. Au contraire, you're better to avoid Puffinalia, and POLL IT LIKE IT IS.

By the way, Nanos has nailed the past few elections, better than any other pollster.

Pix: SES; smoldering heart throb teen fan photo by Sophie Armcandy for the Puffin Party of Canada Youth Wingnuts

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)