The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: McKenna Warns Puffins of Further Losses

Friday, November 16, 2007

McKenna Warns Puffins of Further Losses

For most people, this whole Johnston Commission thing promises to be a really gripping soap opera, with allegations ranging from fraud to outright blackmail. To me, however, it's just a royal pain in the butt.

This Just In: Some of the smarter Puffins are coming to their senses and realizing that this whole exercise will come back to bite them. We are already getting truce feelers. Apparently, McKenna is telling them they can't afford to go to war - "Think of the legal bills" - and to just calm the heck down. The gist being, everybody from BackPack Boy on down, go back on your meds and stop acting like inane college students.

Monday Morning Developments from the Puffin Side of the Fence: Bob Rae is all for toning down the enquiry, and keeping to a narrow, strict mandate, otherwise some things will be investigated that should not be investigated. Get the picture?

Tuesday Morning: James Travers tells the Torostar faithful, hey, maybe we're playing with fire here... Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all..... Although he tries out some pathetic spin, suggesting that "a usually deft Harper is finding the Schreiber-Mulroney affair unusually awkward." I'm not finding it awkward at all. I'm finding it intensely BO-RING.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)