The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: PET Pup Caught Trying to Swim to Havana

Saturday, December 22, 2007

PET Pup Caught Trying to Swim to Havana

In a brave attempt to emulate his late father's catalogue of exploits, Justin "Jésu" Truedoh was pulled from the sea off Halifax yesterday in a failed attempt to swim to Havana.

When told his father had tried to get to Cuba once to meet with "Fidel", but by canoe from Key West, Florida, the young Puffin heart throb slapped his head and shouted "Aw Fuddle Marde".

The young celebrity was escorted home by his wife Sophie and will be in Montréal to celebrate his birthday on Christmas Day.

Meanwhile disturbing rumours continue to swirl about a Priory of Sion plot to install Truedoh on the throne of Canada. More on this as details come in.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)