The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: Stephen Harper Automated Attack Ad Thesaurus

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Stephen Harper Automated Attack Ad Thesaurus

One of the more amusing items that Rocco's tech team found when they hacked into PAM - the Puffinalia Agitprop Mainframe - is the Stephen Harper Automated Attack Ad Thesaurus, a subset of the Puffin Party of Canada Secret Playbook. Here are some examples from this truly pathetic political document:

1) Concentrate on Harper: Talk about "Stephen Harper's hidden agenda" and the "Harper Regime".
2) Use Demonizing Adjectives: "aggressive, aloof, arrogant, bullying, cheap, cold, devious, dirty, disastrous, disturbing, evil, hardcore, hard-right, heartless, hostile, mean, nasty, right-wing, scary, secretive, shameful, sinister, sleazy, tightly-controlled, uncaring, unfair, unfeeling, vindictive".
3) Repeat Nationalistic Links: "George Bush, war in Iraq, US-style"
4) Use Hundred Dollar Words Sparingly: Multisyllabics such as "authoritarian, fundamentalist, Machiavellian, unconscionable" are great in their proper place.

Sandra is keeping a close eye on some of the newer attack innovations, so I enjoin all true blues to send your favourite Puffinalia to me at the email address on the right.

Latest Larry Martin Outrage: "Putinesque", as in "Oh that Harper, he's so Putinesque."

Don Martini: "He's a born leader, but far too angrily partisan..."

Latest Jimmy Traverse Torostar Cult Inanities: "vicious", "partisan", "schoolyard meanness", "goes for the groin", "smearing the blameless", "doesn't play well with others"...

NOTE: I thought "PARTISAN" was a good thing, but apparently not when you're sniffing the incense of the Torostar Cult on a daily basis. Soon they'll be banning hockey.

Forget the old rule about keeping your stick on the ice. These journo-nannies are so stoned they can play without a stick.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)