The Secret Diary of Stephen Harper: The Real Leader of the Puffin Party of Canada

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Real Leader of the Puffin Party of Canada

This monstrosity comes from one of our Toronto culture jammers, who is a charter member of the Canadian Union of Public Satirists (Motto: "Your Tax Dollars at Work") and a secret Peoples CBC slave at Fort Dork. He kindly shared it with the Party through our research office political skunk works.

Apparently Rick Mercer and CUPS have been sponsoring what they call "Responsible Photoshop Workshops" in our schools, colleges, prisons and other public institutions. Our operative called this work, "Iggy the House Joker or the Real Count Ignatula". It was roundly condemned as "scary", "unfair" and "US-style satire".

I agree. I find this entry a perfectly pathetic depiction of an adversary for whom I have the utmost respect and admiration. I'd like to take this opportunity to state categorically that at no time does my government condone any such satiric activities, even though they may very well be in the national interest.

Talk Tough Like Mike

•“Look, this is America and you have to decide what kind of country you want. This is your country as much as it is mine.” - 2004
*"Look, if I lose, I'll just move back to Massachusetts." - to the Harvard Crimson newspaper - 2006
*“If you mess with me, I’ll mess with you until I’m done.”
• "You're looking at someone who turned down the chance to become Prime Minister of Canada, and I did so, in part, because I felt it would divide the country."
• “I don’t need any lessons in legitimacy from Harper.”
• “He knows where to find me.”
• "He's creating a parliamentary crisis and dividing the country."
• "It’s his budget, not mine."
• "It's up to Harper to make the right decision and up to me to decide if he made it."
• "We're putting the government on probation."
•"Mr. Harper, your time is up.”
*"This is a prime minister who a year ago was trying to make you embarrassed if you liked opera or classical music or the ballet or poetry. I mean, come on, let's get over this. You can like hockey, you can like classical music. Let's stop playing Canadian against Canadian and taste against taste."

The Susan Delacarte Stephen Harper Attack Thesaurus (Under Construction)